Save for frequent bouts of laziness, I consider myself something of a grammarian. I don’t know all the rules, and the ones I do know, I break (sometimes accidentally and sometimes on purpose). I come by it honestly. I used to work with a great proofreader or two who were so good that they allowed me to just write without worrying about grammar. But the more I worked with them to fix my grammar, the better my own understanding of the beast became. Eventually, I got to the point where the only red marks on the page were things that I screwed up intentionally for marketing’s sake.
Unfortunately, it’s something I can’t turn off. When I talk to people, when I watch TV, when I read things, my mind catches mistakes. Don’t even get me started on the crawlers on news programs.
One of my favorite examples of grammatical what-the-hell-were-you-thinking was an Allstate campaign. It’s the series with the guy who portrays various accidents and incidents, referring to himself as “Mayhem.” The last 5 seconds of the the early spots in the campaign went something like this:
ACTOR PLAYING “MAYHEM”: Get Allstate so you can be better protected from mayhem like me.
DENNIS HAYSBERT VO: Dollar for dollar, nobody protects you from mayhem like Allstate.
Mayhem like me or mayhem like Allstate. So which is it? Grammatically speaking, the sentences are correct. You’re protecting yourself from mayhem like the character Mayhem. And theoretically nobody protects you from mayhem like Allstate. But you’ve gotta read what you’re writing aloud. It certainly would’ve been better for Dennis Haysbert to say, “Nobody protects you from mayhem better than Allstate.” Of course, the way it sounds is that Allstate is mayhem and nobody protects you from it.
So as copywriters, we need to be diligent. Whether we have proofreaders or not, we need to pay attention to what we’re saying. Read it aloud. Clients need to pay attention, too. Don’t trust your agency to get it right. Read it aloud. Hear it like your customers will hear it.
Now, before you get all “practice what you preach, fat boy,” Yeah, I made a few grammatical errors in this entry. Some of them on purpose. Some of them not. Bonus points if you figure out which are which. Even still, when it comes to writing marketing copy that sings and sells, with me, you’re in good (but frequently greasy) hands.