What’s in a name – redux

Lately it seems that all the freelance projects I’ve been given either have been to name a product, or that was a small component of a larger job. I suppose it’s a good sign that the economy is turning around: new products and new line extensions must mean the factories are humming again. But this isn’t an economics blog.

No, this blog is about advertising (and copywriting, marketing, voice acting, screenwriting, etc.), and this post is about naming things. More specifically, it’s about Apple, Inc. As I type, Apple announced the new iPad yesterday. Not the iPad 3. Not the iPad HD. And no, it’s not the iPad 2S (though it features a similar spec-bump equivalent to that between the iPhone 4 and the iPhone 4S). The new 3rd generation iPad is called “The New iPad.”

Apple has always zagged when other companies would zig, but this decision is the one of the oddest naming-related things I’ve ever seen since I’ve been following naming as a subset of copywriting.

I read somewhere (and I hope the original reporter forgives me for not quoting him or her directly, because I can’t find it now) that when Apple was asked why they would choose a name like that, they said they did it because they didn’t want to be predictable. What a luxury it must be to be able to name a product something screwy just to throw everyone else off – and people will still buy it in record numbers.

But what happens when the new iPad isn’t new anymore? It’s begging for an Abbott and Costello routine: “Is that the new iPad?” No, it’s the old New iPad. “So it’s the iPad 2?” No, iPad 2 is the second old iPad. I have the 3rd old iPad, the New iPad. “Wait? I thought you had an old iPad.” I do. “But didn’t you say it’s new?” It is. It’s the old New iPad.”

Granted, everyone else in electronics doesn’t get it either. “Introducing the new Dell Inspiron 15 (N5040).” And automotive ain’t exactly doing it right: “Test drive luxurious new Kia Optima SX Limited.”

But Apple does it because they don’t want the world to be able to predict what they’re doing. Amazing. I’ve been following Apple rumor blogs for years. I’ve learned a lot along the way. I’ve also been steered wrong a number of times (where oh where is the Apple home theater PVR I’ve been promised all these years).

Apple is the only brand I can think of that is itself a celebrity. People are always trying to get spy shots. And people love to report Apple scandals (no matter how overblown). I’ve even seen legitimate news organizations report as fact rumors that I first read on non-legitimate, rumor-filled blogs.

Apple must be reading the same blogs I do. Otherwise, I’d be coveting a new iPad 3 right now.

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